The wiping dead from r/funnyvia Reddit
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd… “If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?” The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answered “sure”.
The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out a 130-page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and says, “You have exactly 1586 sheep. “That is correct; take one of the sheep.” said the shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his car.
Then the shepherd says: “If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my animal?”, “OK, why not.” answered the young man. “Clearly, you are a Sales Rep.” said the shepherd. “That’s correct.” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?” “No guessing required.” answers the shepherd. “You turned up here although nobody called you. You want to get paid for an solution I don’t need, to a problem I don’t have, and you don’t know crap about my business…… Now give me back my dog.”
“Customer Satisfaction” for Facebook is measured in click-
throughs and sales dollars…not in user complaints. You
and I are not customers to Facebook. We’re the product.
We’re what they’re selling — our eyeballs are being sold
to the advertisers. Their only reason to make you happy
is to ensure you come back (begrudgingly or not). Once
you realize that, their lack of “customer service” isn’t
surprising in the least. So long as you’re not paying for
the service, you’re not a customer. They care very little
about your privacy, your experience, the impact that their
constant site layout changes and privacy policies have on
you, the annoyance if/when they sell your personal data to
mailing lists and spammers — so long as it all suits the
needs of their true customers and doesn’t piss you off
enough that you don’t keep coming back. This is the way
of business…get used to it unless you want to pay for
– slashdotter commenting on this thread:
Do not despair of life. Think of the fox, prowling in a
winter night to satisfy his hunger. His race survives;
I do not believe any of them ever committed suicide.
– Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)
So we bought these top of the line LG appliances. Steam washer & dryer. French door fridge, bottom freezer, ice in the door. They all suck. Washer misses the easiest stains. Dryer produces the least unironable permenant press hunk of mess. Refer freezes anything in the bottom drawer. Ice machine is close to useless. I spent what I thought was max for top of the line thinking you get what you pay for. Not w/LG. Don’t waste your money.